The sky cleared a bit this evening — a pale line of light outlining hills that haven’t been visible for almost two weeks (hell at times I haven’t even been able to see the houses across the street!). Maybe it is a sign that the fire is dampening down — or the wind has picked up, which isn’t necessarily good news.
Perhaps I’m sensitive to those in flux because I feel on the brink of a change myself — certainly within, but whispers of significant shifts outward as well. Standing on the edge of the unknown, standing with the edginess of the unknown, I feel a compulsion to ‘do’ something just to break the tension.
But it’s not time yet — like being on the edge of a tornado. You can feel the change in the air, the drop in the barometer before the storm hits. Nothing to do but stand and wait.
That’s how I feel — on the brink, wondering what the wave will be that sweeps into my life. Barely holding onto the sense of trust within that I won’t drown as it washes over me.
This is the heart of my emotion for the past few days — incredible vulnerability, excitement, and trepidation, and I don’t know. Something I can’t name, just full, full, full up.